Heretic Pride

you’ve changed my life. 

fuck car shopping. 

just. can you please just have a god damn car that actually works as good as it looks? And if the car has been in an accident, can you just fucking tell me upfront rather than waiting for me to ask for the Carfax and then having some awkward silence in which I’m thinking “sweet, asshole, thanks for hiding this. i wouldn’t have known unless i asked”.

thanks,

—David

of Facebook statuses over the past week of people saying “is anyone going to the Rage Against the Machine concert this weekend!?” and “Gonna see RAGE this weekend! YEAH!” 

but I did not see ONE post that said “Anyone gonna go see Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band this weekend” or “YEAH! Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band! FUCK YEAH”

SO, Rage fans, I hope you fucking loved Conor Oberst because his Mystic Valley Band is to fucking die for. nothing against RaTM, just, where is the love, y’know?

ALSO, How was it watching a country band open for Rage!? LOL

If our schedules somehow coincide, due to some wicked, treacherous, heaven bent, hell sent, misguided plan from deities high above, I will be the biggest asshole I have ever been. 

Ever. 

99% of me hopes that you will recede into obscurity as is your divine right in life. 1% of me hopes that I will be the one to send you on that ride. 

I can’t lie to myself, I really, thoroughly enjoy this kind of shit. 

I understand that people still use AIM-speak on things like facebook and… AIM, obviously. I usually don’t actually care at all and I think it’s totally fine because everyone I know that uses AIM-language has written at least one paper in their life and realized “ah shit, can’t write ‘u’ to mean ‘you’.” 

But, sometimes, seriously, did you seriously just not think some of your shortened words out?

Seen on facebook today, in response to a friend’s washer being broken:

” … =(  u can cum use mine!”

COME DOES NOT EQUAL CUM. 

Also, LOLLLL

Not being able to find an album online for download absolutely kills me sometimes. It’s a weird feeling I get. For one, I’m not allowed to listen to the songs I want to at that exact moment, but at the other time, I get a little stoked that I’ve dug deep enough into a rabbit hole that the internet can no longer provide any services for me, and it’s time to either go to a real, beautiful record store, or … just suffer the consequences of constantly having to stream songs from little websites that sometimes aren’t even in english. 

Damn you! 

I am titled on Examiner as the LA Green Architecture Examiner. 

There is a young woman out there, most likely a recent graduate, who is titled as the LA Sustainable Building Examiner. 

Obviously, many of our articles cover the same thing. Recently we both wrote on the 40th annual Los Angeles Architecture Awards as well as California’s new green building code which is to take effect January 2011. 

I don’t think she even knows about me, but every time I write I feel like it’s a competition. I also feel like my articles are totally better, but that’s ‘cause I’m me so of course I think my writing is better. 

It’s not an actual concern, but it does add some level of excitement. 

One day I will post a horribly tempting post on craigslist for David Thorne to respond to. David Thorne, for those of you who do not know, is the man who rose to internet fame via his very famous “spider” email, in which he attempted to pay his utilities with a drawing of a spider. While hilarious, David Thorne soon began to start jerking off to his own jerking off, which then led to a misplaced sense of importance, as well as a blurring of the lines between “humor” and “being a fucking retard who actually thinks he’s funny”. 

After David Thorne falls for my bait, which will probably be some weird post about how I need invitations designed for my wedding or some random shit, I will begin to devise a most devious plot to corner him. He will most likely send me a smart-ass email with a product that is obviously faulty. I will then chastise him based primarily on his skills as a graphic designer. I feel that if I say something along the lines of “please, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Helvetica? Real original, ass-hat. We all watched that documentary and last time I checked I don’t live in fucking Ikea. If this was an attempt at being funny, then please try harder next time and just use Courier or Wingdings—I can’t tell the difference.”

I will then post a counter-website to his, and the internet will say “omg david thorne got pwn’d”. 

summer mode=short hair mode=david looks like an 18 year old mode. 

I will continue to consider you a joke if you continue to make statements with videos that involve “ginger genocide”. 

I get it, it’s an analogy for the discrimination which takes place on any group, culture, race, or people and how the violence involved is always based on petty prejudices which boil down to nothing more than “they’re different from us”, yet at the same time, symbolism does not automatically make you an artist, and misplaced gravitas is probably the biggest culprit of pretentious creation anywhere. 

That and I think the album Kala kind of blows, but everyone tells me I’m crazy for not liking it, so maybe I guess I should just learn to appreciate lines like “a dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun dun” as really skillfully crafted—no, I can’t even finish that sentence, even for the purpose of humor. 

I understand the mini-feed. I get it, so I can’t hate the feed itself. The feed is simply an entity which, whether facebook users knew it or not, eventually wanted. My friend uploaded pictures from Spain? Hell yes I’m interested in that, I use facebook thus it’s pretty obvious I look at photos to waste time. 

Anyways, I can’t hate the feed. It is not cognizant of what it is doing.

But I CAN hate people who never stop updating their profiles with the most inane, retarded, absolutely unnecessary statuses every damn hour. You posted a song on your own page? Okay, okay that’s cool I guess, that’s alright, I mean, sometimes you just like a song so much that you have to get off to yourself, y’know—NO FUCK I’M LYING I HATE THAT SHIT. SPOILER ALERT: you’re a retard. Ok, scenario time:

a) I am always in the mood for a song called The Past is a Grotesque Animal by Of Montreal. It is probably my favorite song which hits nearly 12 minutes. I know it’s not a huge category, but you have to understand that it’s competing with Desolation Row AND It’s Alright Ma, I’m Only Bleeding AND that I have an absolute adoration for Bob Dylan. Anyways, it’s a song that I dig so hard, that I want to tell other people “hey man, listen to this song, because it’s ballerific like it’s all terrific”. And then you know what I do? I post that god damn song on my individual friend’s wall who I know will be into it. And that’s that. 

I think what’s worse is that if maybe it was a song or two once in a while I really wouldn’t care, but typically, the people who post their songcloud uploads post about 5 songs in a 20 minute time span. Guys, guys stop, no one cares. 

And the people who comment on their OWN statuses before anyone else has, even continuing a conversation that doesn’t even exist!? Oh you better believe I hate on that. 

Anyways, I’ve only just actually started to utilize the “Hide ________” function, and it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to my facebooking experience.

Speaking of facebook, the trailer for The Social Network looks unbelievably … I don’t even know what it is. It’s so serious! It looks like a really, really, not actually heavy drama but trying to be super crazy heavy for no reason kind of movie. But it IS by David Fincher, so, I’m sort of fucked in that I have to watch it.

dammit. 

What the fuck does it matter what I’m looking at online? Why the fuck does it interest anyone what the fuck I’m looking at online? It’s nothing interesting, it’s shit that I look at that has no relevance to anyone else because it’s shit that I do. 

What the fuck does it matter if I’m on tumblr, facebook, architecture blogs, or other? 

Quit looking at my fucking screen!